So I wanted to make a short post before bed. I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, which is a combination of schizophrenia symptoms and mood disorder symptoms. In my case, my past drug use aggravated the mild issues I already had, and I’d like to say this: whether it was drugs or genetics or both, please be kind to yourself and don’t kick yourself for what is going on in your mind, and never stop fighting. At times I’ve wanted to give up, and I don’t blame you if you have similar thoughts. But fighting is the only option. I know the barrage of voices and delusions and bizarre thoughts can be torment. But even if all you do is fight your illness for the rest of your life, you are valuable and you matter and deserve to live like anyone else. It doesn’t matter if you did it to yourself with drugs or you were born with it; it’s not like you are choosing it now. Every day is a war with my own mind for me but by the grace of God I’m still here to fight another day and actually living a pretty full life. I feel sad a lot and regret the past frequently but I’ve talked to a few loved ones about it and they pretty much said don’t keep kicking yourself, you can’t help it, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. So take it from them and me; be kind to yourself. And never give up.